There are some things which should be obvious to anyone but which are, for whatever reason, blind spots to some. This is clear from the occasional situation which has been given light by the rise in reality TV, where some programs have emerged which feature a groom-to-be making the decisions for their wedding day while the bride sits back (usually at the home of a friend) and waits to see what her beloved achieves. As a result of this concept, there have been some horrific decisions made which should be obvious to anyone with half a brain.
Firstly, although a man may have two big loves in his life – his wife and his sports team – combining the two in a wedding scenario is perhaps the worst decision he could possibly make. If both partners are equally big fans of a team, involving their colors in the ceremony as part of one’s outfit may be acceptable. Otherwise, keep them away from the whole endeavor! Do not make the mistake of thinking that your marriage and your sports team are in any way equal.
Secondly, the venue for a marriage matters. You may be offered a deal which allows you to save money on the venue and gives you the chance to spend the money elsewhere. Your bride will, however, not thank you if the photographs from your big day feature the local sewage works.
And finally, don’t ever believe that holding the reception at your favorite bar is fine just because they know you there and will make you welcome. If it is a place with which you both feel a strong affinity, fine. If not, it just looks like a snub to her wishes.
It is fair to say that many people, on their wedding day or in the weeks leading up to it, have occasional periods of doubt over whether they are making the right decision by getting married. This situation is generally described as getting “cold feet”, a strange phrase which seems to have its roots in a time gone past when armies which had limited resources refused to fight on because they had lost or worn out their boots. In modern parlance, it means that due to a failure of daring you do not go ahead with something momentous.
It is understandable that people get this way in the run-up to their wedding day. The occasion of getting married is a pretty momentous one, which has far-reaching implications. While it may not constitute a massive change in the everyday living of your life, it does present something of a conundrum. Beforehand you were not married, and afterwards you will be. Although you would not have considered the idea of being unfaithful while you were merely dating or co-habiting, knowing that you can only be with the one person for the foreseeable future can be troubling for some.
It does not mean that you are not in love with the person you are about to marry, and it does not mean you will be making a mistake by marrying them. Indeed, any sportsman will tell you that nervousness is not necessarily a sign of partial or anticipated regret. It is just a natural reaction to the change in circumstances, but it is not a sign to call things off.
While it once was very widely accepted that a wedding was to be held in a church, temple, mosque, synagogue or any other religious building, the present day shows us an entirely different situation, where a wedding does not need to take place on consecrated ground – largely because it is the wedding itself and the people involved that are to be consecrated. With this widening of the boundaries, it is now possible to get married in a range of settings, and more and more people are choosing this option. While some are skeptical about this change, it is here to stay.
If you are not religious, you may very reasonably decide that you do not want to get married in a church, and just as reasonably argue that if you were to do so you would not be being fair to that church. Surely the vital element of a marriage is honesty, and if the marriage starts with even a symbolic dishonesty there must be some doubt over how it will go forward. A registry office is the most common alternative, although hotels, cruise ships and holiday resorts (many of which are now dedicated to the “wedding market”) are also popular.
The decision over where to marry should be taken equally by bride and groom, deciding on the basis that the choice should be mutual in order to start the marriage on the right foot. Consensus is something you will be looking for in the rest of your lives, so it is fitting that it should start at the beginning.